TRIGGER WARNING

The following post contains imagery of the Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) being escorted, shrieking and fouling Himself in terror, to the Underworld—apparently by a sort of demon—for root canal work. Many Islamophobic traditions require the avoidance of all depictions of the founder of Islam. If this is you, don’t look at it, just read the words.
We apologise to our Islamophobic readers for any discomfort, and would like to assure everyone on the Internet that we respect them, to the extent humanly possible.

Nothing binds the entire deniosphere tighter than the blind opposition we share to whatever the United Nations does with its overweening authority. After all, our common hatred for the supranational classe politique is why most of us got into the rejecting-scientific-facts game in the first place, and why any self-affirming denier would sooner die of septicaemia from a polar-bear mauling than give those bastiches in Turtle Bay the satisfaction of admitting what we all know, deep down, in our heart of hearts (viz.: that The Science™ is absolutely kosher and terrifyingly persuasive; and that if it’s guilty of anything at all, which it isn’t, it’s an all-too-human tendency to under-exaggerate the devastation we lock in every time we chunder forth another p.p.m. of carbon pollution).

There’s a reason no other institution since the Roman imperium has been trusted with the power to invent new weeks out of thin air. Well, OK, maybe the Medieval papacy; but where are they now?

Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and what power could be more powerful than the power to manipulate the calendar itself—to literally molest time?

This time, however, even I, Scepticus I, must admit the UN has used its mutant abilities for good. (I guess a broken calendar really is right twice a year.)

I refer to Secretary-General Guterres’ announcement of International Islamophobia Awareness Week [IIAW], which will replace the week of September 11 through 17—as I’m sure you know, thanks to the success of this month’s International Islamophobia Awareness Week Awareness Month [IIAWAM] events, which has already raised a record number of awarenesses around the issues, challenges and prejudices facing ordinary Islamophobia Awareness Weeks in today’s modern society now, in which we live in.

A rare shot of the Prophet Muhammad. The Arabian businessman was an intensely private person who seldom agreed to a request for an autograph or a quick portrait.

Islamophobia is an issue close to our hearts here at CliScep. Not only has it been linked to the deaths of a handful of people since 2001, most of them Sikhs—which makes it infinity times more lethal than silly old global warming, ha ha ha!–but one of our writers has personally struggled with the diagnosis since his late teens.

To honor the remainder of IIAWAM we’ll be reblogging on an irregular basis, for your improvement, the very best media coverage of the illness.

Our first pick is a Guardian article featuring every sceptic’s favourite thinker from the field of Punitive Psychology.

Look for it in tomorrow’s CliScep.

You probably won’t find it, but don’t panic—it’ll be up by the end of the week, latest.

Your leader,
Gaius Augustus Scepticinianus Caesar I,
known as Scepticus the God or Scepticus Modestus