Guest humor by David Middleton

It’s funny how donating to one charity can get you on the mailing lists of other charities. Back in the 1980’s and 1990’s, I used to contribute to Habitat for Humanity. Well, that got me on the Carter Center mailing list. Back then, the Carter Center used to do some good things, so I sent them $20. That got me a letter from Ted Kennedy on behalf of Handgun Control Inc. I stuffed their postage-paid envelope with NRA literature and sent it back to them.

My wife and I support Best Friends Animal Sanctuary, the Humane Society, the ASPCA and numerous dog rescue groups. In the past, we both supported the Nature Conservancy, which employs capitalism to protect habitat, or at least it used to. This got us on all kinds of enviro-nitwit mailing lists. Well, yesterday, I got this in the mail:

The “free gift” looks like a notepad…

Warm Winter Wishes?

I always thought Polar Bears didn’t like warm winters?

Are they seriously wishing for a warm winter? Isn’t that like wishing for global warming?

I wanted to put one of Dr. Susan Crockford’s articles in the postage paid envelope and send it back to them… My wife wanted to send it to Alexandria Occasional Cortex, to see if she would instigate a congressional investigation of the World Wrestling Federation… So we compromised; we will just mark it “return to sender” and drop it in the mail.

How about some Elvis?