Next installment of the Rud Ridiculae series.

By Rud Istvan

Once you know the messaging methods climate alarmists use, they become very predictable and easy to ridicule.

Weather events become climate. Too hot, too cold, too wet, too dry…it is all evil anthropogenic CO₂ caused climate change.

Alarmists invariably also have climate change threaten important seasonal customs. Since this week is Thanksgiving in the US, it has to be threatened by climate change. And right on cue, we learn from (among others) WaPo, NatGeo, YaleClimateChange, CBS, and Yahoo News that indeed it is; climate change threatens the traditional Thanksgiving New England cranberry garnish.

National Geographic’s illustrated article is captioned, “Climate Change is coming for New England’s cranberries”. It says hotter summers and wimpier winters are the culprits. Ah, good old anthropogenic global warming (aka AGW).

On the other hand, Daily Progress’ says that colder winters are the culprit. Which explains why anthropogenic global warming morphed to climate change.

WaPo says the problem is late spring frosts and mild fall harvest conditions. Who knew CO₂ could shift the seasons, miraculously overcoming the enormous inertia in Earth’s orbital tilt? Alarmists claim to rely on ‘climate science’. Dodgy ‘science’.

Yale says the culprit is shifts in precipitation, both too much and not enough. Cranberries, you see, need the Goldilocks climate before AGW.

Whatever the details, just remember climate change is bad for cranberries.

A quick google of the topic turned up no less than 11 different November 2021 articles/videos about climate endangering cranberries on just the first page of the search results. In the first two pages, it also turned up 7 similar articles from November 2020. Cranberry alarm has become a Thanksgiving tradition!

I got curious as to how long cranberry alarm has been annually trotted out around Thanksgiving. Well, at least since 21 November 2012 (I did not bother to dig further back in the google search results), where an organization named ecoRI News (at ecori.org) wrote about cranberries being hit by ‘climate whiplash’. It said cranberry bogs need acid peat soils, abundant fresh water, and sand—true, and Cape Cod has them in abundance. But bogs are geography, not climate, related. Then the article said cranberries also need winter, spring, summer, and fall—all four of which New England also has in abundance. Not clear what the dreaded cranberry ‘climate whiplash’ exactly is; ordinary whiplash comes from car wrecks, which most climate change ‘science’ certainly resemble.

Or, as my favorite old Richard Lindzen slide showed 13 years ago, you cannot discern climate change in Boston, Massachusetts—near Thanksgiving’s ground zero exactly 400 years ago. But you can sure discern its seasons. So the Massachusetts’ ‘climate whiplashed’ cranberries remain thankfully plentiful.

Once you know the messaging methods climate alarmists use, they become very predictable and easy to ridicule.

Weather events become climate. Too hot, too cold, too wet, too dry…it is all evil anthropogenic CO₂ caused climate change.

Alarmists invariably also have climate change threaten important seasonal customs. Since this week is Thanksgiving in the US, it has to be threatened by climate change. And right on cue, we learn from (among others) WaPo, NatGeo, YaleClimateChange, CBS, and Yahoo News that indeed it is; climate change threatens the traditional Thanksgiving New England cranberry garnish.

National Geographic’s illustrated article is captioned, “Climate Change is coming for New England’s cranberries”. It says hotter summers and wimpier winters are the culprits. Ah, good old anthropogenic global warming (aka AGW).

On the other hand, Daily Progress’ says that colder winters are the culprit. Which explains why anthropogenic global warming morphed to climate change.

WaPo says the problem is late spring frosts and mild fall harvest conditions. Who knew CO₂ could shift the seasons, miraculously overcoming the enormous inertia in Earth’s orbital tilt? Alarmists claim to rely on ‘climate science’. Dodgy ‘science’.

Yale says the culprit is shifts in precipitation, both too much and not enough. Cranberries, you see, need the Goldilocks climate before AGW.

Whatever the details, just remember climate change is bad for cranberries.

A quick google of the topic turned up no less than 11 different November 2021 articles/videos about climate endangering cranberries on just the first page of the search results. In the first two pages, it also turned up 7 similar articles from November 2020. Cranberry alarm has become a Thanksgiving tradition!

I got curious as to how long cranberry alarm has been annually trotted out around Thanksgiving. Well, at least since 21 November 2012 (I did not bother to dig further back in the google search results), where an organization named ecoRI News (at ecori.org) wrote about cranberries being hit by ‘climate whiplash’. It said cranberry bogs need acid peat soils, abundant fresh water, and sand—true, and Cape Cod has them in abundance. But bogs are geography, not climate, related. Then the article said cranberries also need winter, spring, summer, and fall—all four of which New England also has in abundance. Not clear what the dreaded cranberry ‘climate whiplash’ exactly is; ordinary whiplash comes from car wrecks, which most climate change ‘science’ certainly resemble.

Or, as my favorite old Richard Lindzen slide showed 13 years ago, you cannot discern climate change in Boston, Massachusetts—near Thanksgiving’s ground zero exactly 400 years ago. But you can sure discern its seasons. So the Massachusetts’ ‘climate whiplashed’ cranberries remain thankfully plentiful.

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