By Jo Nova

Just more junk science to spook those who want to be spooked

Did you sneeze today? It must be “Climate change”. Go forth and buy some solar panels…

Like a continuous propaganda machine, the government pays academics money to find a crisis, so they do, and then the media rephrase the story like a Pavlovian prompt. It’s a form of mass hypnosis. Everything is climate change and only the government can save you:

by Laura Chung, The Sydney Morning Herald

Did your hay fever start earlier this spring? The coughing, the sneezing, those terrible itching eyes? You are not alone, and it might get worse in coming years as climate change extends the season, experts say.

About 15 per cent of Australians have hay fever, with those between 25 and 44 years old most likely to suffer during spring. Hay fever is an allergic response when substances including pollen from grasses and trees, dust mites or mould come into contact with the nose and eyes.

The only time a climate scientist remembers that CO2 helps plants grow is when it’s bad:

Plants rely on carbon dioxide to fuel photosynthesis, so they may grow larger and produce more pollen with increased gases in the atmosphere.

Summers are going to keep getting longer — (especially because temperatures in 1910 keep getting colder every time we revise the dataset):

Data from the Australian Institute published in 2020 found that summer was, on average, one month longer than it was 100 years ago, while winter was more than three weeks shorter. For example, in Port Macquarie in New South Wales, summers have increased by 48 days.

And if summers stop growing, we’ll just change the instruments, build another runway and add another radar.

Remember girls and boys — your hay fever is not because of the highly allergenic shrubs your neighbors planted, or the westerly wind that blows over the hay plains. It’s got nothing to do with your wayward gut flora, antibiotics, diet, mineral deficiencies or any other possible thing.

Sneeze and think about all those evil people causing your terrible itching eyes because they’re driving a Ford Ranger XLT and loving it.