Today the BBC came out with a story that was so very stupid I actually felt insulted by it – insulted that the BBC thinks so little of its viewers that it is prepared to serve up so much ordure and call it news, call it information, call it truth. My poor old TV got a right earful.

The occasion was the 1 o’clock news on BBC1, and the story was about potholes. Now what could be more prosaic than that? Unfortunately the BBC was not content with telling me how terrible the state of the nation’s roads are. They also made the utterly risible claim that climate change was making the pothole situation worse.

Ben Brown in the intro: “Well scientists warn that climate change could make the problem even worse…”

“How can that be, you liars, when it is frost that causes the road surface to crack? How stupid do you think I am?” was my first yell.

“…because of more wet weather, but scientists think that new technology could be part of the solution. Here’s Harriet Bradshaw…”

So: scientists warn that climate change could make things worse but scientists (the same ones?) think that there is a tech answer. There isn’t. You already know that. I know that. Everyone up and down the country watching the news knows it. That won’t stop the BBC from trying it on. And as for Brown’s script: some scripts are so bad that I would be embarrassed to read them out. Other scripts are so bad that I’m embarrassed hearing someone else read them out.

The intrepid reporter interviews a cyclist who had an unpleasant interaction with a pothole leading to a titanium donation from the NHS. So far so normal. But then:

Harriet Bradshaw: “…but looking into the issue of potholes, there’s a problem which scientists say will only get worse with the effects of climate change…”

She doesn’t say what the problem is, but segues into the universities that are bringing engineering solutions to the whatever-it-is problem. Because, it is implied, we don’t know how to make a road yet.

Bitumen… concrete… cracks… the cracks are caused by freeze-thaw cycles…

“It’s getting warmer, or it’s supposed to be!” bellows your hero at his long-suffering TV, which shrugs broadly. “How do you propose that these freeze-thaw cycles are going to be worsened by climate change, exactly?”

The universities are working on:

Sensors in the road [a waste of time and money].

3d printed fixes [a waste of time and money].

The materials that can adapt to temperature changes by adding fibres or making them self heal [yes, you guessed it].

There follows a bit of wholly unnecessary VR headset rubbish, and someone punts the idea of using cars to collect data on where the potholes are [not from my car, you won’t].

Let’s send robots to fix the roads when the cars have automagically told us where the holes are [no, it won’t work, get out of here you idiot].

Harriet Bradshaw: “BUT IS IT ENOUGH?”

[She didn’t yell. I yelled for her.]

Dr Kristen MacAskill: “With climate change, we’re expecting more extreme weather events, whether that’s freeze-thaw cycles, wind events and rainfall events. These can have an impact at the rate at which our roads deteriorate.”

No they can’t. Don’t be so stupid. And I couldn’t help but notice that nowhere was mentioned that a key reason for wear and tear is because vehicles drive up and down the roads. And just maybe the higher torque of EVs might have a role to play one day?

No, don’t worry about that. The WIND is going to blow. It’s going to rip up the damn road by main force. It is, dammit! Don’t you laugh at me! I’ll complain to somebody!

No doubt, if by chance the pollutant of the hour was an aerosol, not a greenhouse gas, and temperatures were going down, not up, then this selfsame story could easily have been wheeled out, and have had more truth about it. That, folks, is the topsy-turvy world we live in.

The BBC. Unique, thanks to the way it’s funded by you.

The News at 1 (scroll forwards to about 15 minutes).

The accompanying web story, from which the featured image is drawn. Notice how there’s only one tag? Yes, it’s climate. What else did you think it would be tagged? Get serious.