Never mind the varying tilt of the earth’s axis

Nor its changing elliptical orbit around the sun

Never mind the mighty fireball’s great flares and fluctuating cosmic rays

That shape the planet earth’s clouds

Nor the cycles — stretching for years, decades, centuries — of circulations in the seas and the atmosphere above

Never mind the earthquakes, the volcanoes

The vast spewing of ash and water vapor (eldest brother of the greenhouse gases)

No, allow no such sundries to color your straight-as-arrow view of climate

For it is that molecule CO2 that needs to be set in the sniper’s scope

Blast it, eliminate it

For it contaminates mother earth’s blessed pristine virginity

CO2, begone, foul fiend!

Temperature, that is all you shall eye

For that is what your mortal coil demands

Heat, your enemy, needs killing lest it kill you

And cold, your friend, don’t let disbelievers convince you otherwise

(Though it may well be that the cold kills far more than heat

By ten times, even)

Woe unto you if you stray from the path

Destined for you, in the mainstream media

For the crime of skeptical reasoning or the reading of skeptical writing

Will prove your downfall

Be good, do good, virtuous folk

For the Valhalla of clean living and a pristine, virginal earth awaits you

Just complete the journey, exit that foul emanation

CO2, begone, foul fiend

Hail to St. Greta, hail to Gore

Hail to Mann, his haloed hockey stick

And say nay to Happer, Clauser and Lindzen

For they bring the shadow of death

Minions of that poisonous gas

Foul fiend CO2

Tilak K. Doshi