Have you ever wondered what a climate change denier looks like? I know that sounds like a silly question, but I’m being serious. In the same way that an airport security officer can look at a passenger, and by observing his swarthy complexion and shifty eyes immediately know he is a terrorist hijacker, is there any equally simplistic profiling that can be used to pick out your average Cliscep reader? Surely it cannot be that all white males of a certain age fall into the category, so that can’t be used as the basis for your prejudgements. In fact, there are no phenotypes or cultural groupings that can be used. But, according to one expert, there is one shared characteristic that makes for a convenient collation, and hence an effective treatment. Yes, we are all evil, so much so that if our innate malevolence were to be readily apparent, our approach would be as obvious as the slavering advance of an orc army.

If any of you are feeling a teensy bit offended by any of this, then I’m afraid you’re just going to have to suck it up, because I have all of this on the highest authority imaginable – none other than the greatest climate statistician that has ever walked this Earth. Yes, it’s Professor Michael Mann, no less.

To be specific, he supplied the seminal profiling of the average climate change denier when he tweeted the following:

Who created this climate-denying orc army? Of course it was fossil fuel interests and plutocrats…Why is this true? Because climate denial isn’t about legitimate scientific skepticism but, rather, a malicious contempt for science, factual discourse, and objective truth that aligns with a totalitarian worldview embracing nativism, bigotry & misogyny.

And, to avoid being accused of proffering unsubstantiated opinion, he added:

And yes, there is empirical, peer-reviewed support for the conclusion that climate deniers, in general, are truly awful human beings: https://spssi.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/full/10.1111/asap.12347

From the above we must conclude that it is an established scientific fact that we are indeed an orc army, set apart from the human race as a consequence of our malice and moral depravity. You pick any viewpoint that indicates “malicious contempt for science, factual discourse, and objective truth that aligns with a totalitarian worldview embracing nativism, bigotry & misogyny”, and you will find that it statistically correlates with the views of your typically hideous, knuckle-dragging climate change denier. Resistance to vaccination? Correlates. Transphobia? Correlates. Xenophobia? Correlates. Misogyny? Correlates. Right of centre political instincts? Correlates. Leeds United supporter? Correlates.

Let me just reflect upon that for a moment. I’m not so sure that a vaccine that was approved for emergency use can be automatically assumed appropriate for all age-groups, including those who are not even at risk from the disease. I’m not sure that children should be subjected to permanently damaging physical interventions to address what are normally psychological or transient emotional issues, nor do I approve of female safe spaces being violated by cross-dressing fetishists brandishing their semi-erections. I actually do believe that any nation that allows uncontrolled immigration on a massive scale should seriously consider the potential adverse societal impacts, and that critical race theory is a dangerous nonsense. I do have grave concerns that legitimate feminism has given way to misandry that threatens to transform the nature of gender inequality, rather than remove it. Meanwhile, whilst being no lover of Trump, I have to admit to a certain degree of schadenfreude in witnessing the existential angst that Trump’s electoral victory has caused the legions of Hollywood celebrities who publicly threw their weight behind Kamala Harris. And yes, I have been known to make the odd appearance at Elland Road. All of which surely adds up to one thing:

Oh my God! Mann is right. I’m a slobbering orc! I’m a truly awful human being – if I am indeed human at all.

But hold on for a moment. Just where does the real evil truly reside here? Is it between my ears, or is it in the banality of Mann’s analysis? After all, is anyone really impressed with Mann’s citation of a study published in a journal (Analyses of Social Issues and Public Policy) established to serve an audience of “policy makers and advocates”? Are we really supposed to uncritically accept the moral compass of a pair of left-wing human rights academics (look them up)? And when they talk of the metrics of authoritarianism and misogyny, are we expected to accept that such metrics can be objective and reliable? Above all, given that one of the authors’ main indicators for being authoritarian and misogynistic is being a supporter of Trump, are we really supposed to overlook the obvious political bias that pollutes their study’s underpinning logic?

The reality is that we live in a complex world that does not lend itself to trite analyses separating between the good and the evil. We do not live in a Tolkienian fantasy of hobbits, elves, wizards and orcs. There will, of course, be correlations between variously held viewpoints, and there will be a variety of confounders that may explain this. But to take a moralistic position and presuppose that the truly unifying factor is an individual’s general wickedness and social unacceptability is a risible line of argument by anyone’s standards – unless, of course, we are talking of the standards offered by Michael Mann. To my way of thinking it is this banality that represents the greater evil, since it is a banality that brands and divides. It is a banality that fuels contempt were there should be at least some attempt at empathy and understanding. And it is the banality of the ideologue who assumes the mantle of righteousness without requiring the apparatus for self-critique. So my Christmas message to Michael Mann would be this: Why not try a little more humility and a little less hostility? After all, you can’t expect others to treat you with respect when you show them none yourself.

And whilst I’m at it, a very merry Christmas to you all.

MOT.