Tired of being harangued by insistent climate doomsters with their wildly over-hyped scaremongering and dubious ‘science’? Read on for some well-earned light relief.
Gavin Schmidt tweeted that he liked a #ClimateStrike poster that read “Soon even moving to Canada isn’t going to solve our problems.”
That reminded us that we had a parody submission on the Canadian government’s tiered climate refugee program, that would at least be worth a laugh, if not serious consideration for some!!
See what you think, say Friends of Science Calgary.
Introduction to the Climate Refugee Plans
If you are reading this, you are no doubt deeply concerned by the most recent report of the Intergovernmental Prognosticators of Climate Catastrophes (the “IPCC”), which confirms what the members of that panel have known since before their research began: humans have put just too darn much carbon dioxide into the air.
Now, if the developed world spends trillions and trillions of dollars very quickly to completely destroy and then rebuild its energy infrastructure so as not to use any of those nasty fossil fuels, sends hundreds of billions of dollars in climate reparations to third-world dictators, and gives unelected officials sweeping powers to control our lives and redistribute wealth, the world just might be able to avert hotter (or perhaps colder) temperatures, more (or possibly less) snow, more (or possibly less) wind, more (or possibly fewer) hurricanes, too much rain or too little rain, stronger and more frequent (or maybe not) tornadoes, fewer dog-walking opportunities, reduced male fertility, and a whole bunch of unprecedented weather events just too nasty to think about.
But what if our best efforts fail? What happens if spending a hundred trillion dollars or more does not limit the temperature increase to an arbitrary 1.5°C (which used to be an arbitrary 2°C) above the arbitrary baseline at an arbitrarily chosen level of CO₂ at a randomly selected point in Earth’s 4-billion-year history?
What if the gas you breathe out—the gas that plants turn into oxygen and that makes up a tiny fraction of all the greenhouse gases in the atmosphere—is not the control knob for Earth’s temperature after all?
What then?
Well, we have good news for you! Canada’s Climate Refugee Plans
are here. Canada has come up with the following climate refugee plans that will save most of peoplekind from the ravages of there being just too much plant food in the air, causing plants to grow bigger and stronger and to inhabit areas where they just wouldn’t grow before.
You can choose the plan that best matches your status in the world: the Climate Scientist Plan, the Global Warming Journalist Plan, the Tropical Islander’s Plan, or the Everyone Else. Well, almost everyone else: for the truly elite among you, we also have the Movie Star Plan!
Old stock Canucks need not despair, though, because Canada needs you, too: after all, who else could we get to pay for all of this?
Continued here.
via Tallbloke’s Talkshop
March 18, 2019 at 09:23AM
Iowa Climate Science Education 